Note to Self

Dear Self,
Perhaps you might want to be more careful in the future about mixing Xanax, Lexapro and red wine.

Waking up in bed and not having a clue how you got there is only amusing for about 30 seconds. Realizing you're naked and being unsure if you undressed myself is good for another 10 or so.

And then you remembered that you, Ethan and HotAss actually did go to The Pumping Station, but that seems like a flickering memory and you aren't sure how you got there or how you got home.

And the half-eaten Wendy's burger on the dining room table indicates that perhaps you stopped for food, and you vaguely remember handing HotAss the ATM card to pay for the burger.

And you wonder if the kitchen is a wreck as you remember that HotAss and Ethan had been sitting in the living room last night, drinking vodka tonics and eating cheese. But surprisingly, the only reminders are the yellow Wendy napkins, an unopened bottle of cranberry juice, and an almost-empty bottle of Merlot.

And you do a self-check for unexplained bruises, scratches, missing appendages, etc. and realize that for a wild drunk, you have no hangover and feel like a million bucks. So you hop in the shower, do a little singing, get dressed without a care in the world.

Except one...Did you do anything stupid last night? Did you embarrass yourself (except for the red wine stain on the front of your shirt)? HotAss and Ethan will have to fill you in.