Happy Chinese New Year! Okay, actually it's tomorrow but...
We officially enter the Year of the Green Chicken (which is almost as funny as the Year of the Monkey Turd. Well, we are exiting the Year of the Monkey -- so exiting the Monkey...hmm... maybe this really is the Year of the Monkey Turd).
Anyway...We've American-ized the year and tradtionally call it the Year of the Rooster. And if you're gay, that means it's the Year of the Cock.
Well, it's about damn time.
The placemat down at the Happy China Garden Dragon Moon Panda Butt Restaurant tells me that I was born in the Year of the Rat. And this is my shiny happy fortune for the Year of the Cock/Rooster/Green Chicken/Monkey Turd...
All in all, 2005 should be a profitable year for the hoarding Rat species. You’ll not be daunted by the Rooster’s rigor as you know how to stock up and save for the rainiest days. Love will enter the picture for you this year. A passionate, long-lasting relationship could mean marriage - and even children! Make sure you check out possible partners among Dragons and Monkeys. They know best how to tickle your whiskers. (...in bed).
Dragons and Monkeys, please form the line to the right. My whiskers are ready to be tickled.
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Yeah... fuck this Chinese New Year shit. I am an Ox (fitting). My man is a sheep. And we are explicitly not supposed to be together. The chinese restaurant menu said so. "Never the Ox" it said. I am supposed to be compatible with cocks and snakes. Eyeroll.
We aren't astologically compatible either (Sag and Pisces). I guess we are just star-crossed lovers.
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