The F-Bomb

Before you begin this post, I have to tell you that this is Not Safe For Work (NSFW).

I fucking love the word "fuck."

Not necessarily in the sexual context but in the exclamatory, I-want-to-make-a-point context. It works in so many situations. Disappointment? Say "fuck." Disgust? Anger? Annoyance? A moment of sheer sexual ecstasy? "Fuck" works with a variety of emotions

Here lately, my favorite fucking phrases have been:

"Fucking-fuckity-fuck..."

"Fuckthatnoize...sheeeit"

"What in bloody fucking hell..." As if this makes me more British.

"I need a fucking cocktail."

"Fuuuuck."

"You fucking people are driving me fucking nuts."

"Two tears in a bucket. Motherfuck it."

And when I get really creative, I combine phrases to say crass things like:

"What the bloody fucking-fuckity-fuck are you fucking thinking, you bloody stupid fucking retard? This fucking shit is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S. FUCK! If somebody doesn't fucking give me a fucking cocktail now, I just might go fucking nuts on their fucking asses."

I do try to exercise some restraint, and only use the word when I'm around people who will truly appreciate its emphasis. But occasionally I slip up and drop the F-bomb in front of people who I shouldn't use that word around. At work, for example. Most recently, I used the word "fuck" to describe my feeling of angst at forgetting to do something important. The people I used it in front of froze for a second and then laughed nervously. I apologized and they informed me that almost any word was acceptable except the F-bomb.

I've been trying to do better. But seriously, fuck it.