The Most Personal Post Ever

Since I started my blog, I've wondered several times if I was being too superficial, barely probing below the facade I show to the world. Am I showing the world the real "me?"

Who cares?

At any rate, I believe if you really want to know a person, look in his or her nightstand drawer. That's where people keep their dirty laundry. Their secrets. Their deepest fears and secrets and desires scribbled in the most recent of a series of diaries kept since they were 13.

Or that's where most people keep their sex stash.

So this is where I reveal the contents of my nightstand drawer with my exclusive commentary. I will warn you, stop reading now if you are under the age of 18, if sexually-explicit content is forbidden in your area of the world, or if you simply don't wish to know this much about me.

And if you read beyond this point, you are never, ever, ever allowed to mention this to me in private or in public. Comment if you want but don't mention this post to me. I couldn't withstand the embarrassment.

Although, I know each and every one of you have a "sex stash" you are afraid to reveal.

Here it is...the contents of my nightstand drawer.

1. A bottle of lube. Wet Platinum.
2. A small bottle of Eros Pjur bodyglide. The Rolls-Royce of personal lubricants.
3. A small bottle of K-Y warming liquid. I was sorely disappointed in this. No warmth. Little satisfaction.
4. A full tube of ManDelay male genital desensitizer. I think that like most men, I have this fear of going too soon. Second only to the fear of not going at all. Or not even getting to the gate. So once upon a time I bought this stuff. But I never got to use it. That's a good thing, right?
5. A nearly-full tube of Anal Glow. Apparently, it provides something akin to the KY warming liquid when applied to the butthole. I decided the cream was more akin to Ben-Gay. Think about it.
6. Nine Lifestyles ultra-sensitive spermicidally lubricated with Nonoxynol-9 latex condoms.
7. A bottle of Rush Liquid Incense.
8. A purple rubber cockring. My favorite.
9. A leather cockring.
10. A leather ball-stretcher and ball-splitter.
11. A combination leather cockring, ball-stretcher and ball splitter with D-ring for ball weights. This is way more complicated than sex should be.
12. Two metal cockrings. One small round one. One thick, flat-edge one. The thicker, rounded-edge one happens to be on the vanity in the bathroom.
13. A set of rubber-tipped nipple clamps. My nipples are hot spots and this works for me. Well, sometimes.
14. A personal cock & ball guide #1 published by Spartacus Enterprises. It came out of one of the leather goods packages and I couldn't figure out where else to put it. So the nightstand drawer it was.
15. One set of anal beads. Blue plastic beads secured by tiny knots. This was the first toy I ever bought, back in college. I thought this would be cool, but not really. Cheap construction.
16. A booklet of Hot Gay Sex Coupons. I spotted these in Borders around Valentine's Day and I thought it would be fun, in the event I had a boyfriend again, to give him one or all. For example, "With this coupon, you can beg me for anything and I won't give it to you, until you beg me for it -- again and again and again and again."
17. One black vibrator. This was a gift to myself on my 23rd birthday. The batteries have died and it barely buzzes, but I keep it for sentimental reasons.
18. One black butt plug. One of the wisest choices I've ever made.
19. One pink translucent dildo. It's huge. Apparently my eyes were bigger than my ass. It never gets much use.
20. One 12" double-ended dildo. The ex and I had one of these and it was amazing. One of the bright spots I'll take away from that relationship. I bought one since and it was STILL amazing.
21. One set of vibrating eggs. The T-man got a set of these for Christmas. And I was jealous.

I think that your nightstand drawer is one of the most personal part about you. It's the thing you don't want your parents to find should you happen to die before them. It's the thing that you have an unwritten plan in place for. I've actually said to my friends and given them keys with the instructions that in the event of my death, they are to get to my apartment and remove all of the lusty evidence.

Okay, so now it's your turn. Publish for the world the contents of your stash.