Git R Dun!
One night, not too long ago, HotAss and I were sitting around being silly. Perhaps we'd been sipping on Vivacious Vicky a little too long. HotAss felt the need to start downloading Pink Floyd. After "Stairway to Heaven," "Money," "Comfortably Numb," and "Another Brink in the Wall," I tipsily turned to HotAss and said, "We have achieved a new level of Ned's rectum."
Of course, that caused a few moments of bewilderment, because neither of us knew Ned. But what I meant to say was, "We have achieved a new level of redneckdom."
Redneckdom is known by almost everyone who considers themselves somewhat sophisticated and thinks he or she might be beyond that point in their lives. For example, I occasionally crave deep-fried catfish, hushpuppies and cole slaw. I love to hear some Lynard Skynard "Sweet Home Alabama." HotAss drives his white pick-up truck like he's late to pick up his pregnant bottle-blonde girlfriend. And I know that the two of us have been known to say, "Aw, hell naw!"
So I'm not a stranger to Ned's rectum. And, recently, I have discovered that nothing gets my cornfed juices flowing like a redneck man. And nothing epitomizes "redneck man" like Larry the Cable Guy.
And he gets me hot. Call me a freak. Call me a first-class weirdo, but I am coming out of the closet as a Larry-Lover. I watch Blue Collar TV just for a glimpse of Larry. I wish I could explain why I find that fat camo-wearin', deer-huntin', gravy-spillin', beer-guzzlin' man sexy, but I can't even begin to try.
It is what it is.
2 comments:
As a good friend, I have to make sure you're aware that "Stairway" is Zeppelin, not Floyd.
As an artist, I have to make sure you know that a love for Floyd does not a redneck make. Skynyrd's a different story. But Floyd lovin'...that makes you a coinsurer...
coinsurer? *giggling*
I'm a Larry Lover too!
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