Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are

Is "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" too obvious a caption?

Happy Gay Pride Month!

Few things make my eyes roll more than Gay Pride. And maybe it's because I have never completely drank the rainbow-flavored Kool-Aid, but this whole gay pride thing kind of gets on my nerves. And while I totally acknowledge the leaps and bounds gays and lesbians have made in the 30+ years following the Stonewall riots as a result of demonstrating our gay pride, maybe we missed the boat somewhere. Okay, maybe I missed the boat.

My first gay pride parade in Nashville, I showed up in my t-shirt emblazoned with the rainbow flag. I marched in the parade. I shouted my highly-charged political protests, like "We're here! We're queer! Get used to it!" and "Two, four, six, eight! How do you know your kids are straight?" At some point midway through the afternoon of lesbian singer-songwriters and men in cuffed denim shorts and combat boots telling me how proud I should be and why the battle ahead would be a long and treacherous one, I began to feel a little uncomfortable. After a rousing rendition of "We Are Family," I turned to Hotass and said that I didn't want to be gay anymore. I'd had it up to here with pink triangles, rainbows, and PFLAG.

I looked around and I realized that we had been preaching to the choir all day. I was surrounded by gay men and lesbians who knew we'd been second-class citizens, who knew the pain of living a double life, who were mad as hell. But the people who needed to hear us weren't there. Our families who had disowned us. Our churches who had ushered us outside. Our legislators who had no interest in us.

Sure, our parade brought out the assholes with the "God Hates Fags" signs. And the news cameras were there to shoot the signs, and the drag queens, and the leathermen with their asses hanging out of their black shiny chaps. And the weekend anchors made a mention of our show of support for equal rights. But the folks at home were still too fixated on the man in the dress.

Gay pride is a damn fun party. As an instrument of social change, I'm not sure these gay pride things work. And I don't profess to have better ideas. We can vote and select the lawmakers that we feel best represent our interests, and hope they win. As gay men and lesbians, we can be socially responsible and let our actions show the rest of the world that we aren't freaks of nature or perverts.

But it's a catch-22. It's difficult for a lot of us to be ourselves until the world is a safer place for us. And the world won't be a safer place until we can be ourselves.

I have to tell ya... the political and social climate in this country fucking scares the daylights out of me. And I don't know what it takes to change it, but I do know that it's up to each of us to do our part, whatever that is. Write a letter. Get registered to vote. Come out of the closet. Show the world that gay men and lesbians really are good people.

Stop being a fucking cliche, and be an individual.