Something You Gotta Know...

The time has come to share some critical information with the world.

Babies and mothers have known about these things since the dawn of time, and even I have "sat" on this little secret for a couple of years now. But I am here to share two little words that will change your life forever...

Booty Wipes

Yeah, I realize that people don't like to talk about number 2, but, as the saying goes, shit happens. And you need some booty wipes when it does.

What are booty wipes? They are a fresh breeze, a bidet in a box, a wet wipe, a moist towelette for your behind. But like I said, these aren't your regular baby wipes; these are for big boys and they're flushable!! And the ones I use can sit quietly in a discreet white plastic tub next to the toilet, ready for me or for my guest (should they feel the need to have a private moment in my apartment).

Why would you want to use a booty wipe? Why wouldn't you? Like HotAss says, stop tracks before they start. And I don't know you about you, but sometimes I just don't always feel as fresh as I would like. Toilet paper has its limitations. Booty wipes leaves the backside fresher and cleaner than you ever thought possible.

And let me tell ya...the booty wipe manufacturers are missing their target audience with gay men. You know how sensitive we are about our butts, and it only takes one embarrassing experience to scar you for life. I don't know why I'm not seeing full-page ads for booty wipes in Out, Genre, Instinct, The Advocate, and Vanity Fair.

I first shared these wonderful things with HotAss, and I was even with him to help him make his first purchase. And now we have made it our personal mission to share them with everyone we know. HotAss has grown so fond of them that he almost mistakenly used the Clorox wipes stashed next to the Dynamic Duo's toilet. I guarantee you that's a mistake he'd only make once.

Do yourself and everyone around you a favor. Look for booty wipes wherever toilet paper is sold.