The Blog Interview

What does Will's inquiring mind want to know? I needed to be interviewed because I've been feeling less than creative and motivated to post lately, so I made a desperate cry for attention, and Will has kindly provided these interview questions.

The twist of the game is that the questions are specific to the person. None of this "what's playing on your iPod" and "what three items would you need if you were stranded on an island." Will took his time this week reading my blog and here are the questions he prepared for me. And he did a mighty fine job.

Oh, and pay close attention to the rules at the bottom.

1) Like many gay men, you've identified your friends as your family. The Memphis Gaggle plays a huge role in your life. Were you a founding member, or did you find them somehow and get adopted, and how?

I've thought about the Gaggle's genesis, and I've decided it just must be a freaky force of nature that pulled us all together. I really believe that people wander in and out of your life for a reason, and for this moment in time, we need each other for whatever reason. We've all adopted each other. Hotass and I have known each other the longest, but I've never felt like it was our magnetic personalities and sparkling wit that have brought everyone together.

It's more like a sucking black hole. Hotass was friends with Tman and Buffy before I got to Memphis. Buffy was friends with Wanda. I met the Dynamic Duo when I got here, and introduced them to Tman and Hotass. Hotass worked with Dusty. Dusty introduced us to Bobo. I worked with The Pink Lady in Nashville, and introduced her to everyone else when she moved to town. The Pink Lady started working with Shenandoah.

And one day during the summer, we looked up from our cocktails and realized that we had created a family.

2) You're in your mid-30s, part of a gay tribe and out via your blog, but not to your parents. How do you see their reaction when and if?

I made the decision a long time ago that if they want to know, they'll ask. And when they ask, they already know the answer. So my honest answer won't be a surprise. Now of course, should I have the good fortune to meet someone while my parents are still alive, there will come a time when I will probably want them to meet him, and vice versa.

My parents and I have a good relationship but we aren't "close." Honestly, I have no idea how to predict their reaction.

If I were to come out today, would there be tears? Probably. Most likely, the immediate reaction would be either "I knew that already" or a stone-faced stare while it sunk in. A great ugly scene? Written out of the will? Disowned? Probably not.

More than anything, I suspect the attitude through their remaining years might probably be quiet and unspoken disappointment. And why would I want to inflict that upon them? And, selfishly, I'd rather their thoughts of me be full of pride.

3) Video porn is (in)famous for highly variable production values, but you speak of critiquing it like fine cinema. Who are the directors whose work you particularly like, individual stars and titles that meet your standards?

Porn is hit or miss. When anybody with a video camera can make porn, one thing I always look for is consistent, yet unique, quality. Who wants to rent or buy a movie, and then when they get it home, find it to be, um, limp? I want variety (men, sets, positions, set-ups, kind of sex, etc.) and some semblance of a story.

I want to be entertained and aroused. And I know that I can almost always count on certain directors, actors, and studios to put wind in the sails.

Joe Gage is a great director and probably my favorite. Take a look at some of his old stuff like Kansas City Trucking Co. and L.A. Tool & Die, and compare it to some of the newer films he’s done for Titan Men, like Men’s Room: Bakersfield Station and Alabama Takedown, and although there’s almost 30 years between them, they’re consistently and unwaveringly hot.

When it comes to studios, TitanMedia, MSR Videos, Raging Stallion and HotHouse almost never let me down. I used to be a Falcon fan, but their videos are all over the place these days, and you never know what you’re gonna get.

And the list of actors that melt my butter change almost daily, but here’s a list of who’s doing it today: Kent Larson, Tag Adams, Jason Branch, Dick Wolf, Lance Gear, Zak Spears (I prefer the one with hair over the bald one), Danny Vox, Joshua Adams, Gus Mattox, Michael Brandon and Chad Hunt.

And if you can combine any of the above, you’ll have a movie that you’ll come back for again and again.

4) You slipped in without any further explanation that you'd gotten paid for sex twice in your life. How did this happen and how did you deal with it?

The first time was in college. It was summer and I was bored, so I drove an hour to the nearest big city, if you can call Paducah, Ky., a big city. It was a big city because it had an adult bookstore. It wasn’t even my intention to go in for sex. I really was there to get a magazine or watch a video and maybe get off. I was really surprised when I was sitting in my booth and someone came in.

He offered 20 bucks to blow me. I turned him down. He offered $40, and I realized that yes, I could be bought. He got down on his knees in the cramped booth, and blew me to finish. He then offered another $40 if I’d fuck him. No thanks, and I left with two twenties in my pocket. I drove straight to the mall, and bought my first set of contact lenses.

The second time was many years later. I was single, and a man propositioned me online. He’d pay me to have sex with him. He was older, late 40s, married, and successful. Not exactly handsome, but not atrocious either.

He made a pretty convincing case. I would have sex anyway. He wanted sex, and by paying for it, he was assured that it was readily available, and he didn’t have to go through the mind-numbing and often disappointing task of cruising for it. And basically, he wanted a steady paid-for fuckbuddy. Say, every Thursday, I’d put out, he’d get off, and I’d be $100 richer. Everyone goes home happy.

We got together once. For me, the sex was less-than-spectacular, and he left $100 on the dresser. A couple days later, we were chatting online and he asked if I would have had sex with him if he hadn’t paid me. I was honest, and said probably not. I didn’t hear from him again.

Oddly enough, I never felt cheap. I viewed it as strictly a business transaction. Let’s face it. I’ve done more for less. Would I have had sex with these two men had I not gotten something out of it? Probably not, but then again, I’ve made errors in judgment before. At least, we both got something we wanted.

I’m not proud of it, but I’m not ashamed either. Chalk it up to experience.

5) For a decade or more, Hotass has been a constant presence: friend, confidant, traveling companion, sometime housemate, companion in a number of "firsts" in life--but you've said there's never been sex between you. How would you describe your relationship with him; is love involved on some level?

Hotass and I have a very special relationship. For whatever reason, I think we have a special connection that goes beyond friendship, but it’s definitely not a romantic bond. It’s not a relationship that I’ve seen reflected anywhere else in my lifetime. I suspect it’s similar to what lifelong partners experience if the romance and the passion have subsided.

And people ask, and probably secretly think, if perhaps Hotass and I harbor some unfulfilled love for one another. And I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt, that is not the case.

I love him and I’d give him a kidney if he needed it. He’s the one I’d call if I needed to be bailed out of jail or dump a body in the river. He’s the one I call when I get my heart broken. And he’s the one I’d trust with my life. Kinda like Thelma and Louise, Lestat and Louis, Laverne and Shirley, MaryAnn and Wanda.

And now the rules:
The Official Interview Games Rules:
1) If you want to participate, leave me a comment below saying, "interview me".
2) I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3) You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4) You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5) When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.