Facing the Music - The Disco Musical

Maybe God really is trying to destroy the homosexuals. Maybe it's time to face the disco music (Last Dance - Donna Summer).

This morning as I got to work, our receptionist greeted me. Our receptionist is a 50-something gay man with a white handlebar mustache and a reputation for performing drag under the name, Lady Astor, several years ago. In fact, his license plate is LDYASTR. Sans the mustache and with a really powerful imagination, you can almost see him over-acting on a stage somewhere in the 70s and 80s. (You Sexy Thing - Hot Chocolate)

I was practically running in the door. Hurricane Katrina (She's a Bad Mamma Jamma - Carl Carlton), as she bitched her way through Memphis last night, caused my power to flicker. I awoke at 8:40 for a 9:00 meeting. And, although it wasn't a crisis until after I debated what to wear, I was still breezing through the door at 9:10.

Lady Astor told me the meeting had been cancelled, and then resumed the conversation he was having with the other two staff in the lobby about the hurricane.

"And, oh my, what about Southern Decadence? I just remembered that Labor Day is this weekend." And then he explains to our administrative staff that Decadence is "the big New Orleans Labor Day orgy oops-I-mean party. All those disappointed men oops-I-mean people." (Lady Marmalade - Patti Labelle)

Maybe it is time to face the disco music. Maybe this was our warning. (Shame - Evelyn "Champagne" King)

At Sunday afternoon tea-dance time, Katrina was Category 5 with sights dead-set on New Orleans for sometime the next morning. By the time I awoke on Monday, God had switched Katrina's gears down to a Category 4 and moved her a smidge to the east. (Rock the Boat -The Hues Corporation)

What would have happened if one more gay boy had gotten a toaster oven for the straight-to-gay conversion? God might have changed His mind and put Katrina in a starring role a week later. There would have been 100,000 gay boys living up their supporting role in "The Poseidon Adventure meets Twister." (Tragedy - The Bee Gees)

Please God, don't cast me as Shelley Winters. (In the Navy - The Village People)

Before New Orleans, Katrina churned up some trouble in Miami and South Beach. Last year, hurricanes pummeled Pensacola. And how many times in a year does Key West get clobbered? (It's Raining Men - The Weather Girls)

And don't we all know that the West Coast, especially San Francisco, is going to fall off into the Pacific Ocean? (Shake, Shake, Shake - KC and the Sunshine Band)

Now if natural disasters are any indication, maybe God does have it in for the pillow-biters. At least the American ones. All of our great domestic destinations are getting their butts whooped. (Kung Fu Fighting - Carl Douglas)

If it comes down to a full-fledged, hand-to-hand, lightning-versus-lipstick combat between God and the Gays, I want Cher leading the troops. Journalists have said that after the Apocalypse, there will be cockroaches and Cher. Who doesn't want that kind of stamina on their side? (This Is a Song For the Lonely - Cher) Yeah, I know that isn't typically disco but it fits in the story.

As long as Cher lives, so does disco. As long as disco and its children live, so will those who move to that music.

And, really, don't we all? (Grand Finale Medley: Love Will Keep Us Together - Captain and Tenille, Staying Alive - The Bee Gees, I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor)