It's Not About the Size; It's About the Fit.

It's not normal to be this excited about underwear. Especially not underwear obviously designed for someone 15 years younger with a broomstick waist. But I'm here to tell you...I couldn't be more thrilled about my new GinchGonch pretty panties.

At first, I wasn't so sure I could be sold on the grown-up Underoos. After all, the first salesperson told Hotass, Artist and I that he has "a 28-inch waist and wears a medium." It was difficult for the three of us not to roll our eyes and call him a "bitch" under our breath. If this little waif of a boy wore a medium, there was certainly no chance for more...um...robust men, like myself.

But, Artist purchased a pair for his beloved. Hotass got a pair, and since they're just so darn fun (and since everyone else had some), I had to get mine. After much deliberation and consultation, and knowing that there is a strict policy about not returning underwear to the store, I opted for a large. Merry Christmas to me.

New Year's Eve found the three of us with our pants down, showing off our new special-occasion underwear.

And just for the record...I had to wash my delicates in hot water and dry on high heat twice to take up some of the slack.

Tell that bitch with the 28-inch waist to eat a freakin' biscuit and that a medium would have worked just fine.