In the Past 31 Days...

...I've had one cigarette, but that was within the first ten days of the month, and I've had one puff at two different times during the month. Is the ashtray licked? At least for the moment. I'll take one day at a time and start a new countdown tomorrow.

...I've seen Dreamgirls and Smokin' Aces. Dreamgirls was infinitely more fun, more attractive and less bloody. Plus the Dreamgirls soundtrack lends itself to a full month's worth of drag moments. You try singing "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going" and not breaking into a rendition worthy of the best drag queen you've ever seen.

...I've had two dates with two different guys. I saw Smokin' Aces with one, and went to Tunica with the other. One date was two years in the making, if you can believe that, and it was a gamble that paid off.

...the Pink Lady found out she is a candidate to be contestant on a certain reality show, and we helped her shoot her second application video and inappropriately destroy another German chocolate cake. The final cast will be selected by mid-February and we're hoping that she's a "loser."

...I've helped the Artist and the Chef begin their move back to Memphis, by helping move their Mardi Gras float of a bed and paint the bedroom Parisian taupe.

...I've helped Sweet Wade and assorted company fend off Bridezillas at a bridal show. Sweet Wade has started his own catering business, and catering to the whims of indecisive brides is part of the job. And serving up pomegranate fizz and macerated strawberries in balsamic vinegar with creme fraiche on a Sunday afternoon is part of my job as friend.

...I'm learning to dislike my job more and more with each passing day.

...I've decided to start yoga. In February.