Snow Day

The snow day should have been yesterday. The forecast Wednesday night was for a wintry mix, which meant that Mother Nature was just going to take all the precipitation she had at her disposal, and hurl it in the general direction of Memphis, Tennessee.

And I was just as tickled as June Cleaver with a bucketful of buttholes (no, I don't know what that means, but it's a phrase that makes me smile) when I heard the "tick-tick-tick" of frozen rain and sleet hitting the roof Wednesday night, and I just knew there would indeed be a snow day on Thursday.

In fact, Hotass even made the customary run to the grocery store to pick up snow day staples - milk and bread. I'm not sure if this is a phenomenon in other parts of the country, but here in the South, at the very whisper of the word "snow," there is a mad dash to the nearest Kroger or Schnuck's to wipe them out of every gallon of milk and every loaf of bread they have in stock. We never have snow last more than a couple of days tops, but if there ever is a blizzard, can they really fend off starvation with just milk and bread? At any rate, Hotass and I were prepared for French toast.

When I woke up yesterday morning, I didn't even have to look outside to be disappointed. I could hear traffic on Park Avenue, and it was moving way too fast for there to be any amount of moisture on the streets. I pulled back the curtains and cursed.

Nothing. Not a flake. Not an icicle. Not even a coating of frost on the car windshield.

I kept vigil near weather.com all day, which promised white stuff and ice throughout the day. But still nothing at noon. Nothing in the afternoon. Nothing in the early evening. But about eight last night, flakes began to fall. And the kid in me made snow angels in my heart.

Snow in Memphis is a lot like men - you never when it's going to come, how long it's going to last, or how many inches you're going to get. So after being disappointed one to many times, I went to bed without high expectations.

I woke up before seven, and I listened carefully for the traffic on Park. Silence. Silence in the way that only snow can create. No swish of cars through puddles and slush. Just the muffled sounds of Memphis under a blanket.

A few minutes later, Hotass knocked on the door and told me that schools, the courts, and University of Memphis were closed for the day. I peeked through the curtains and I squealed.

And then I jumped out of bed.

I can't remember the last time I jumped out of bed before 8 a.m.

I fired off an e-mail to my staff and boss that the Memphis office would be closed today due to inclimate weather, and I had my coffee and French toast in my comfy chair.

Alas, today wasn't like the snow days of childhood. I had my work laptop and cell phone with me so I did manage to get a little bit of work done, but I still had The Today Show, Rachael Ray (honestly, I can't stand her), and Martha on in the background.

And, in true Memphis fashion, the snow melted by noon. But I had already forgiven Mother Nature for screwing me over the day before.